I'm finding it interesting the direction my blog has taken over the last year or so from when I started writing. My original intent was to spend most of the time commenting on current events and issues, however, as it continues to evolve, I'm finding it's taking a more personal direction. I still get into current events occasionally, but it seems lately this has been almost like therapy for me as I work through all the crazy stuff that floats around my head. That being said, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I wrote in my last blog about all the changes and transitions that are happening in the life of my family this year and how excited I was about them. I am still extremely excited, however, the reality of that much change combined with our incredibly busy schedule has really thrown me for a loop recently and I find myself struggling to trust God and let Him be in control.
In the end that's what this is really all about, me trying to micro-manage everything, which never really works out all that well. You would think that I would have learned that lesson by now, but no, I'm just as stubborn about it as I ever was. Instead of looking back at how God has always provided and sustained me, I continue to worry at each turn and try to control everything. As I'm finding out, I really can control very little and that just adds to the frustration. Still, I believe God is using this to mold and shape me into the person He desires for me to be. As I continue to struggle, He is always faithful, even when I'm not. I've always found it interesting that in the Old Testament God named his chosen people Israel, which literally means struggles with God.
This journey is full of change and as much as I like to think I deal well with change, I really don't. I'm sure my wife will attest to that. It's funny, in the midst of all this anxiety, I caught the last 30 minutes of the movie Parenthood the other night and found myself completely identifying with Steve Martin's character as all the craziness of his life was overwhelming him. But in the midst of all that was going on, his grandmother comes into the room and starts telling this story about how much she always liked roller coasters better than the merry-go-round. Even though the roller coaster had a lot of ups and downs, shook you around, and could be quite scary at times, it was still a lot more fun and exciting than the merry-go-round that just simply went around in a circle constantly viewing the same scenery over and over again. What a great analogy to life. Yes, life certainly has its ups and downs and can shake you around a bit, but it's through those times that we grow and learn to trust God. We can appreciate the highs much more after having been through the valleys. If we choose to embrace the roller coaster instead of fearing it, when we get to the end of our life we'll be able to look back and say "what a ride!".
So, despite everything, I think I'll choose the roller coaster as well. It's just more fun.